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Children and Respect
Children and Respect
Respect is a major cornerstone of the Montessori Method. In traditional education, respect is viewed from an adult standpoint: the teacher commands respect in order to run the classroom in an orderly manner and teach the curriculum. Lack of respect causes disorder and prevents the teacher from doing his or her job. Even in our own homes, we want and expect our children to obey and respect us as we nurture them, so that family life runs smoothly and efficiently. As parents, we want to develop the three types of respect that are crucial in Montessori education: self-respect, respect for others, and respect for the world around us.
We can promote self-respect in our children by valuing each child’s unique development. We do this by observing our child’s needs and interests and making the resources available for him or her to act on them. We show him how to do simple tasks he is interested in, i.e. pouring his own milk, setting the table, putting his clothes away, then make access to these tasks readily available for him to practice on his own. By
making our home environment child-friendly and allowing free movement within it, we help our child develop trust in himself, as he finds that he can master his environment and work toward independence. As the child becomes proficient, he develops self-respect. Maria Montessori stated that her method helps a child “to act, will and think for himself”. As parents, this is something we all want for our children.
Respect for others encompasses several different adult/child relationships:
- Child’s respect for the adult - This evolves from the adult’s role as an understanding care-giver. The child respects the adult for helping him gain independence and self-respect, by helping him to learn to do things for himself.
- Adult’s respect for the child - As mention earlier, the adult respects the child by acknowledging his uniqueness and creating an environment where he can develop, driven by his own inner needs. In the Montessori classroom, no child is forced to abandon an activity until he is ready. He may repeat the activity as many times as he wants and does not have to stop to participate in another activity.
- Child’s respect for other children - When a child in a Montessori classroom works on an activity, he creates a space for himself to work, either on a tray or mat at a table, or on a rug on the floor. This space is respected by the other children in the classroom. No child takes an activity from another or attempts to join the activity without getting permission from the child who is already working. One child must wait until another has finished working with an activity and put it away before he or she can take it out and work with it.
- Mutual respect - As a show of mutual respect in the Montessori classroom, each morning when the child enters the room, the child and teacher shake hands and say “good morning” to each other. A daily “good morning” hug and kiss from us or our children is an excellent way to show mutual respect at home. Additionally, Montessori emphasizes the role of good manners as a significant part of showing respect for others.
Finally, there is respect for the home/classroom environment. This environment is set up by the adult to be pleasing to the senses and orderly. It is a place where the child can feel comfortable and in control, which instills confidence and independence. Every activity has a place, and when each new activity is introduced by the adult, there are three steps to working with it: taking it from the shelf, playing with it, and returning it to the shelf. Activities are made with high-quality, beautiful materials and are handled and treated with great care. The fact that everything has a place makes it easy for the next child to find it. Children require these surroundings as it helps them to know that they can master their environment and exist and thrive in a world that promotes order and makes sense.
February 8, 2011
3 comments:
Of course this is good stuff, and fairly comprehensive. It describes good educational behavior and labels it (appropriately enough) respect. These best practices should be practiced.
Two further thoughts:
1) adults usually don't have to earn a child's respect, for most children who passed the "Trust-Mistrust" and autonomy stages of psychosocial development successfully, respect of adults--and even other children--is the default mode. They don't so much need to be taught respect as taught how to express it (please, thankyou, hello, let's take turns, clean up--etc.)
2) There is another level: respect is in the feelings of the respected. If the child feels disrepected, she is, even if the adult is doing all these things right. The burden is on the adult to figure out how to behave in order for the child to feel respected.
3)Labeling child (or adult) behavior disrespectful could be counter-productive. Better simply to say: I like it when you say "Thank you." than to play the respect card.
Bottom line, better to assume respect and sophisticate it rather than to impose it.
PS. I guess that's three thoughts
If you want to be respected you must respect yourself. See the link below for more info.
#respected
www.ufgop.org
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